Thursday, October 30, 2008
how long have i been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head
if i could just see you
everything would be alright
if i had to see you
this darkness would turn into light
and i will walk on water
and you will catch me if i fall
and i will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and everything will be alright
i know you didn't bring me out here to drown
so why am i ten feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause i'm so used to living underneath the surface
if i could just see you
everything would be alright
if i could see you
this stormness would turn into light
and i will walk on water
and you will catch me if i fall
and i will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and i will walk on water
and you will catch me if i fall
and i will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and now everything is alright
everything's alright
Lifehouse, StormLord,
Thank You for everything. For getting me this far. For everything in this life You've blessed me with. And I know I've strayed from You, I've fallen, I've messed up, I've not listened...I don't deserve any of this. Yet still You cherish me, still You answer my prayers...there aren't the words to describe how good You are to me. I just pray that You can help me through the upcoming days, keep me sane and close to You, even though I only feel like giving up, giving in, falling apart and throwing this all away - because it'd be easy. I know I need a miracle Lord to get me through the next month, to get me through physics, and I know that I've done nothing to warrant a decent grade in that subject - I just hope, Lord, that whatever happens, You will teach me to see the good in this situation - even if things don't go according to my plan, they will go according to Yours, and Your wisdom is infinite - You know what is to come for me, and I know that in You I can have faith, in You I can seek refuge, in You and only You will I find love...open my heart so that I can receive Your Word, Lord, and be Your servant - though I may not be worthy of the honour.
Amen.
Some of my reasons for believing, my blessings:
God Bless.
lovelove, Jess xxxx
Labels: exams, freedom, God, lifehouse, theology, year 12
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I.
HATE.
SWOTVAC.
I mean, really. I haven't studied all year. What makes you think that, just because you give me two weeks off and tell me to be productive that I actually will?
And it's frustrating. because if I really wanted to get into UNSW, I'd realise that if I got a 99+, my screwed up interview would be obliterated.
But then again - I was always going to flunk physics. Even my physics teacher is "surprised" that I'm actually understanding things. It's so disheartening. Sigh.
That is all.
God Bless.
Lovelove, Jess
HATE.
SWOTVAC.
I mean, really. I haven't studied all year. What makes you think that, just because you give me two weeks off and tell me to be productive that I actually will?
And it's frustrating. because if I really wanted to get into UNSW, I'd realise that if I got a 99+, my screwed up interview would be obliterated.
But then again - I was always going to flunk physics. Even my physics teacher is "surprised" that I'm actually understanding things. It's so disheartening. Sigh.
That is all.
God Bless.
Lovelove, Jess
Labels: holidays, IB., medicine, physics, procrastinating, ranting, year 12